Audrey (1999-2008)

There comes a time to say goodbye. As a pet owner, it is often difficult to recognize. There is a struggle --our own selfishness of not wanting to lose our loyal friend on one hand and not wanting her to suffer on the other. We are given a great power when it comes to our pets, one not afforded us with humans. We have the power to end their life without consequences, other than our own turmoil and sadness. The pain of this decision often causes us to wait longer than we should, to put her through more than she should have to endure. But how do you make the decision to end her life, to end the life of an animal that has been nothing but wonderful, loving, and loyal? Are you being disloyal to her? What if it is really not time?


The age-old question asked by every pet owner at some time is why do we become so attached to animals when we know they will die well before we do. And regardless of how many times we go through this, the answer is always the same: because they bring so much joy to our family, so much unconditional love, a completeness that everyone should be so lucky to have.


It is with great sadness that I write this sentence: Audrey is dead. My hands shake as I type those words, tears stain my face. She has been in a downward spiral over the last couple of weeks, but I refused to recognize it. After being out of town for several days, I returned to see the truth. I did not return to see my Audrey, my baby that I saved from a life of violence over nine years ago. I only saw a shell of the dog she used to be. There was a sadness in her eyes that told me it was time to let go.


She was a tough girl, always stoic, never letting on that she was in pain. After her amputation, she never once cried or whimpered. But hearing her cry in her sleep was more than I could bear and far more than she should have to endure.


Goodbye sweet girl. We will miss you terribly. There will be a void in our family that will cause us sadness for a long time to come. You were a wonderful friend. You have been with me through so much. Enjoy your new-found freedom to run and play again. Don't worry, I will do my best to protect the house from the mailman (he is really not malicious, you know). I am not sure how Stanley will cope without you here to boss him around, but I assume he will adapt to his role as the sole protector of the family. Please watch over us. You will never be forgotten.


P.S. Be sure to look for Spencer, one of my best friends who went before you. You two will get along great (he is a lot like Stanley).

New Wheels

I found Audrey a set of wheels this weekend (I love Craigslist!), and we tried them out yesterday. She handled it pretty well as you can see from the video. We started her on Adequan injections, which are helping a little, but the vet is very concerned about the condition of her back leg, even thinking that the ligament may already be torn. The wheels will help, but we haven't figured out how she can go to the bathroom wearing the contraption.

Better news (than we had hoped)

The trip to the vet on Tuesday left us more hopeful than before. Her ligament is not torn, and the leg is just sore from arthritis. Aud got an anti-inflammatory and will get weekly injections to control the inflammation and pain. We are hoping she will be back to her old self soon - a fraction of her old self -- she weighed 66 pounds!!!!

Setbacks.

Unfortunately, this post does not bring news of Audrey's great progress. She has, in fact, taken several steps backwards in her recovery. We have not taken her to the doctor yet, but I suspect that the arthritis in her remaining back leg has worsened to the extent that she will soon be unable to walk at all. She is now having trouble standing up and can only walk a few steps before falling. It breaks my heart to see her struggle like this. Hopefully, the vet can give her some medicine to reduce the pain in that leg. If not, I am not sure what we will do.

Week Two Report

Yesterday was exactly two weeks since Audrey's amputation. We went to the vet to have her staples removed. The doctor was impressed with her progress. The wound has healed perfectly. She also said that she would not recommend chemo at this time, which is wonderful news. There is no reason Aud will not have a long healthy life. Here is a pic of the nicely healed wound. Once her hair grows back, she will look great.

The most remarkable thing was her weight. At one time, she topped the scales at 101! Yesterday, she weighed 73 pounds. Just look how skinny she is:

What a difference a week makes.

It has been one week since Audrey's surgery, and it her progress has been amazing. Just take a look at the improvements:

I don't know if you can see it in this photo, but I really saw a spark of her old self this morning.

Post-Op Day 4.

What a good morning we had. Once we coaxed Audrey out of bed, she showed her independence and strong will and went out to the bathroom all by herself. The first video is a little long. She paused at attention to watch the neighbor dog doing her business. Stick with it because it is pretty impressive to watch her go back into the house. The second video is her maneuvering the steps with ease. She is such a tough girl.

Post-Op Day 3.

Today is a better day. She is up and walking on her on. Amazing progress in one day.

Post-Op Day 2.

We brought Audrey home this morning. It has been a really hard day for us. First, she is mad as hell at us. She will not even look at me, much less give me a kiss. She is not able to walk or even stand without collapsing. It breaks my heart.

Warning: The following pic is pretty disturbing. Do not look if you have a weak stomach.

Background

If you are reading this, you likely know at least a portion of Audrey's ordeal. I have created this blog to document her progress. Here is a little background.

A couple of months ago we noticed that she was limping. Thinking it was just a strained muscle, we ignored it. After a week it only got worse so we took her to the vet, who diagnosed a possible torn ACL, but wanted us to try anti-inflammatories for a two weeks before looking into surgery. Two weeks later, the limping was worse so we scheduled surgery. She went in on August 27th for surgery to repair her ACL. When the doctor opened up her leg, she noticed some tissue that didn't look normal, and the bone was eaten up by a tumor. She took out some of the tissue for a biopsy and closed the leg back up -- it could not be saved. The doctor explained to us that if Audrey had osteosarcoma (a cancer of the bone), there was not a lot of hope because it is an aggressive tumor that metastasize quickly into the lungs and lymph nodes. Alternatively, it could be synovial cell sarcoma or fibrosarcoma (both tissue tumors that invade the bone). These are less agressive tumors that do not typically metastasize to other organs. We understood that if it was osteosarcoma, we would face the decision of putting her down. If it was not osteosarcoma, we then faced amputation of her leg. So we waited for the pathology results, and waited. Unfortunately, this happened all over Labor Day weekend so it was Wednesday, September 3rd before we got word that it was not osteosarcoma.

She went in for amputation on Thursday, September 4th. The surgery went well - no complications.